Constant Gamble

I'm so happy to be writing again. I'm so happy to be a mom. But the two don't go together real well. Blogging may be the only kind of writing I can really do right now. Short bursts while the child sleeps or is momentarily happy entertaining himself. But while he sleeps, he could wake at any moment (and he often does).

I take different assignments on my blog. Some from myself for my own well-being. Some from others because I am interested and I get monetary reimbursement. I sit here considering assignments, and in the back of my mind, I always think, "Will this assignment, like many, many others, be interrupted or aborted or finished too quickly because of the call of 'Mommy'?"

It's a tough balance. Do I take this assignment and take that risk? Do I let it go? Do I wish away my child's younger years? So far, I have not. But until recently I was content to just be mom. Now I have the writing bug again. I cannot just be mom for the rest of my life. I will now always be mom. I need to be more again. But can I? Or perhaps the question is, "How can I?" How do I create the balance? How do I win the gamble? Will I get this done? Should I try? If I do, will it be good enough? Will it matter to anyone but me? If it matters to only me, does it still matter?

Ahhhh...Mercury Retrograde.

~t

ZV Turns 2!

Allright, apparently after I say, "I don't feel like blogging," then I really start to blog. Well, I didn't want to wait too long to report on Zane's second birthday.

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He is such a sweetheart. I know, he's my kid and all, so of course I think he's a sweetheart. But he really is. He recently has been telling all of us how much he loves us all the time. "I love you, Mommy." But it's the emphasis he places on the words that is priceless. So sweet. And somehow, he's also come out with "I appreciate you, Mommy (or Daddy)." That's a big one, so I definitely had to document it.


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Zane's birthday fell during Mercury retrograde this year, which meant that nothing went off as I would have liked it. First of all, I had to work on his actual birthday. Ugh. Even though I tried really hard to get off for it. Nothing doing. Then both Zane and I got sick. So, even though I planned to really celebrate the day before his birthday, I really just kinda sat around on the couch and watched him play with his new toys. Wooo hooo.


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So, Monday morning, we let him open most of his presents. Then we did the sitting around thing. Then we had special toddler dinner: A few kinds of macaroni and cheese.


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We were supposed to do the cake that night, but it fell through. Caspian was misbehaving and Zane was tired and the neighbors who were supposed to come over just plain forgot. Zane actually said he didn't want to do the cake, which was huge, because that was his favorite birthday thing to talk about. So, we waited.

On Tuesday, the 27th, his actual birthday, we just hung out and gave him some more gifts. I went to work, of course. Then we had Kevin's cool Poor Man's Lasagne Casserole that he and the kids made together. Then the neighbors did come over, and that was really fun. We sang and he blew out candles and there was cake and it was all good. It was very nice. He had chocolate volcano cake, "same size" as Caspian's. (For some reason, the word "same" is "same size" to Zane.)


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Gifts included his Little People Garage set, bongo drums, potty books and videos :) starring Elmo and Bear in the Big Blue House, Dora and Diego books, other assorted books and some DVDs, a new blanket, and more mac and cheese! (Probably other things, too, but I can't remember everything.)

Happy Birthday Zane! May the next you bring you much joy. We love you. (And appreciate you.)

~t

Why doesn't my kid sleep through the night yet?

I suppose the title of this post is a rhetorical question. I know the reason(s). I suppose it's my fault. If you had told me 2 years ago that it would take over 2 years for my kid to sleep through the night, I probably would have had a heart attack 5 days before little Zane was born. Yikes.

It's the cosleeping and the breastfeeding, I think. That's what all the books say. But I can't really seem to stop either. I'm not looking for advice. I'm more venting, and also, I guess raising the "If this is you, too, you are not alone!" flag. I know other moms in this situation. For the most part, it's ok, and he will grow out of it. It just takes longer than other kids. It just gets, well, tiring. Ha. I'd like to put my kid to bed, at least some nights and not have to worry that I'm going to have to run up there 3 times before I actually want to go to sleep.

I know, there are things I could do to remedy this situation. But, there are reasons I haven't and probably still won't, so please don't tell me about them. It's just every now and then I cannot believe it, and I thought I'd tell you. There is the odd chance, however, that perhaps he'd sleep WORSE without cosleeping and breastfeeding.

Naaaah. Oh well.

~t

Young America

Over the years of being a parent, I have done my share of looking for furniture for kids' rooms. In general, the places I have been to have a few options for furniture for children. Oftentimes, they are cheesy or don't look particularly well-made.

However, that couldn't be further from the truth with the Young America collection. There are pages upon pages of choices in a number of finishes. It looks as if they are really solid, quality pieces, as well. The prices do lead me to believe that. They are a little higher than I've seen for most children's furniture, but I imagine it's a case of "you get what you pay for". On this site, you get a lot of quality choices. It's definitely worth a look.

~t

Attention Parents of Toddlers

If any of you do NOT have Fisher Price Little People, go right now and buy some. We got this for Christmas:

He LOVES this. He absolutely loves it. At first, he was really good about playing with them by himself. Now he still does sometimes, but we also hear a lot of "Play guys, Mommy" and "Play guys, Daddy."

We got some of the "guys" from my friend Erika, whose daughter is almost five now. One of my favorite guy memories is from a while ago, when I was talking to Erika on the phone and Emma was acting up (like they do). Erika said to Emma, quite sternly, "Emma, you go find yourself a guy and play with him."

~t

Car Insurance

Caspian likes to talk about the day he'll be able to drive. He's very much looking forward to it, even though he only just turned nine. I am NOT looking forward to in the slightest, especially based on the way he space-walks through some of his days now! Aye yih yih. And then there's the question of automobile insurance. How much do teenagers add to your premium? I don't even want to think about it.

GEICO, however, does think about that and much more. They have an entire online library devoted to teen safe driving. One part of that is some great tips on "teens and trucks". Sample topics covered include passing trucks, staying out of trucks' blind spots, avoiding sudden stops near trucks, and more.

~t

Feeling Introverted - Kid Party Shell Shock

It's so funny that my last two entries have been about online popularity contests and I just can't seem to write a real post the past few days. I thought of something earlier and now I plum forgot it.

I have a lot of pictures to go through from Caspian's kid party yesterday, but thinking of that intimidates me. And then I might have to relive it. ::shudder:: Kid party. ::shudder:: We had approximately 7 kids here and we might as well have had 70.

The upside? We don't have to do it for at least another year! Yaaaaaaaaayyyy! We always hate doing the kid party. We got out of it last year. Other times we feel guilted into it. This year it was because we are new here. How could we not invite his new friends over? So we did. We are not the picture perfect parents. We are fun, sometimes. But not fun in the way of wanting to be involved in kid-related things. We are not fun in that way. So, this is what we do out of guilt. NOW, everyone is asking us if the party is a SLEEPOVER? Are they INSANE? This was 2 hours and it was PLENTY. Plenty, I say. Plenty.

Ok, I found one photo. If I ever get my shit together, I might have more.

(See, here's the problem. Blogger is not letting me upload. So I have to upload to Flickr. Or I could use dropshots, but I'm at my limit. It's a pain to upload to Flickr. I tried to upload their tool, but it didn't work. Arrrgh. Technology.)l

Anyway, here it is:



~t

Puppies and Toddlers: Good or No?

Shout out to Bill Gottschalk for the phrase, "Good or No?"

As you may know, we just got a puppy. As you may also know, we got a son 22 months ago.

Sometimes I wonder about the sanity of getting this puppy while we still have our own human puppy. As if we don't have enough on our plate. And both Kevin and I like our freedom. (Sagitarrius & Aquarius). Neither of us are that big on discipline. Both puppies and babies come with a need for a lot of discipline. So maybe I should start with the obvious crazies (or cons?) (or NO?)

Here are the "No"s to getting a puppy while you have a toddler:

• More discipline
• More work
• More mess
• Managing toddler and puppy can be very difficult for one person:
1. You have to take the puppy out QUICK sometimes, but what do you do with the toddler?
2. The puppy wakes the toddler with whining or vice versa: they feed off each other.
3. The puppy wants the toddler's toys and vice versa. You want them to have their own toys.
• Basically, toddler and puppy together can equal anarchy.

But here's the thing: toddlers on their own equal anarchy anyway, so what's the diff?

Here are the "Good"s. Basically, they come mostly under a single heading: "Parents of toddlers are not used to having much of a life anyway, so what's one more little poopy, peey, adorable addition?"

• Poop, pee, and puke are no big thing deal to the parent of a toddler.
• You are accustomed to other messes, anyway, too.
• You are accustomed to constant vigilance anyway.
• You are unaccustomed to uninterrupted sleep anyway.
• You are accustomed to disciplining a LOT anyway, so what's a little more.
• We rarely go anywhere anyway.
• The place is somewhat baby-proofed, and therefore already puppy-proofed.
• It gives you a chance to teach your toddler gentleness to animals from the start.
• After trying to train a toddler on anything, you find that training a puppy is somewhat easier and takes less time.
• And the BEST reason to just go for the craziness: they're just darn cute together!

I'm sure I'll come up with many, many more bullet points as the weeks and months progress, so stay tuned!

~t

Poor Sick Baby

Ugh. I've been puked on a couple times and changed a couple of poopy diapers and it isn't even 8:30 am. Poor Zane woke up around 2:30 and wasn't feeling well, but it was hard to get any information out of him. He made it through that time, but woke me up and puked all over around 5:45. Back to the bath for the second time in less than 8 hours. And then when he was out of the bath, he did it again. Poor little guy. Kevin has been very good about cleaning up all the laundry while I take care of Zane. After he gets the stuff out, he seems fine though. He's content to play, watch the Muppets, or just play "steal our spots". We are thinking maybe it was something he ate.

I was suspicious of the yogurt from Safeway. They had to get rid of much of their dairy section because they had been without power for days. But we got some yogurt there. Hmmmm.

Here he is watching Oobi. (One of his new favorite shows.)



At least now that he's not feeling well I feel justified in junking out on TV. I don't feel that great either, but it might have something to do with the 3 hours of sleep I got. The couch is hideous in this shot. The slipcover is in the wash after the last puking episode.

Funny thing about Oobi, I was telling Kevin how I thought it was unrealistic because Oobi and his friend always let Oobi's little sister play with them, and right as I was saying it, they went off and did things without her and it made her sad.

~t

Mom's Night Out

Wow. I didn't realize how geeky that made me feel until I typed it: "Mom's Night Out". What is probably even worse is that I could probably count on ONE hand the number of times I have been out during an evening without Zane since he was born. Oh well, it's my choice. I don't really mind. It's just the kind of mom I am. He won't be shrimpy forever. In fact, he's getting bigger every darn day. And that's fine, too. I'm not one of those moms who wants their kid to stay small forever. Go on, get big! He is so much fun at this age, though.

So, I went out to a local diner and it was so good! I was invited by my friend Suemary and there were 2 other moms in addition to the 2 of us. A nice small group. We had some great gab sessions, burgers, and coffee. I even avoided dessert and french fries. Amazing. AND, their salads were great. The place was adorable, too. A little hippie haven with murals on the walls and tofu on the menu. I will definitely return. I'd link it, but I don't think they have a website. Nope. Darby's Cafe. If you are ever in Olympia, check it out. Friendly and good service, too. Overall, a very enjoyable evening. Yay, moms.

One of the nice things about Olympia is that I really feel we belong here. I like the people we meet and can generally relate to them and don't feel like I have to hide my true self. I don't get odd looks when I talk about astrology or Kevin's healing and psychic pursuits. People are interested. It's a nice change.

~t

Zane's New Pasttime

Look how proud he is of himself! He likes to just stack things. All sorts of things. He will make multiple trips to get a bunch of stuff from one place to another. Of course, one of his favorites places to stack things is on us. Kevin was the lucky recipient today.

~t

All Hail Dora

Dora the Explorer, of course! Zane loves Dora. When there is any mention of Dora, he says, "Dora, watch." In fact, I think that he is either psychic or can read, because he just said, that to me as I started writing this. That was weird. Dora is my best friend lately, too. He will just sit and be very calm and watch everything that happens on Dora. I feel a little bit like that bad mom I would never be, using the TV as a babysitter. But, as Heather noted, parenting is so much easier for the childless (love that). And I didn't know I'd be working from home, either. Challenges, challenges.

Now, he is bombarding me with the "Dora, watch." Must go put it on for him, so I can write my next blog post!

~t

Irrational Moments in Parenting

So, Zane took forEVER to fall asleep tonight. And then he woke up about an hour after he went to sleep and I had to go back up there. And he took FOREVER to fall asleep again. It is cute and sweet, in a way--the way he rolls over and grabs me to make sure I'm not going anywhere. And yet, in another way, I just sometimes want to jump up and scream, "Go to sleep already. I have so much to do!!!" Luckily for me, my more rational side knows that would not work and would only ensure I'd be stuck in there for about another 30 minutes, minimum. Don't get me wrong--I really love cosleeping. It's great for so many reasons: the closeness, the security, etc. But the downsides just sometimes suck. Still, I wouldn't change it. I just find myself stuck in bed a lot!

~t

Climbing the Gate

Last night I heard Zane up and around on the baby monitor after he had been asleep. Sometimes I give him a couple minutes to see if he'll got back to sleep. He rarely does. I almost always have to go in and I almost always have to nurse him. Life with a co-sleeping toddler! So, I gave it a second and then I hear a CRASH and crying. We run there to see that he had gotten the gate to his room down somehow. I won't even think of the multiple scary connotations of this right now, just hoping it was a fluke. However, I know he's been really into trying to climb the gate and his playpen lately.

I asked him, "What happened? Did you try to climb the gate?"

And he, oh-so-proudly said, "Yeah!"

I have to try and get one of his "yeah"s on video. He has such a way of saying it. his intonation seems to say "heck YEAH!" and "of course" and "I'm proud of myself" all at once.

~t

Nice Holiday Kid Book

Soooo, if you're lookin' for a little somethin' somethin' to maybe make your kid think about giving around the holidays, check out this book: Biscuit Gives a Gift.


It is slightly oversweet, but not too bad as far as kids books go. And what little kid doesn't like a cute dog story? Biscuit and his girl do all sorts of nice things for other peoople and have fun with friends and family for Christmas. It's sweet. I got it for Zane last year (about 10 mos at Christmas last) and he liked it then. He likes it now still.

~t

Mr. Sandman

After 21 months of cosleeping, I have noticed a thing or two about falling asleep. First of all, it's often very hard to lay down with your baby and get them to sleep without falling asleep yourself. (It's also very hard for me to know whether I should be typing "lay" or "lie".) At least it is for me.

It's the weirdest thing. It's like sleep just descends on the room at some point, and you better be on guard, or you're going out with the baby. What IS that? Kevin said it happens to him, too. Is there really a Sandman who comes along only at certain times and tries to take out as many people as possible? Does the little one lying next to me try to grab my spirit and take it with him? I sometimes can feel when he falls asleep. Not to creep anyone out, but it's similar to what I felt when I sat next to my stepfather as he died. It must be what it's like when we leave the body. A feeling of floating around the room. It feels free.

~t

Rate My Baby Pics

I simply adore taking pics of my little Zane. At times, we have been obsessed with it. Now there is a new site that brings you together with other parents with similar obsessions. Rate My Baby Pics is a great place to show off pics of your little tot. But, it's more than that--it's a whole online community of parents sharing information, trials, tribulation, and fun.

This is a great place to meet other moms. The mom friends I've met online have become some of my closest buddies. The site has free message boards to express your opinions, free monthly contests where you can win prizes, and info on what it takes for your little one to become a baby model. Hey, don't think I haven't thought of that!



~t